Three Minutes with a Mysterious Box

Normanday #2: Take the Dare

Last week I challenged you to write for three minutes about a self-proclaimed extraterrestrial who was actually a talking frog. Some of you sent me what you wrote. We’ll get to those entries in a minute. Actually, in three minutes because first I want you to write for three minutes about the time you…

…and your friend went to the movies. Instead of the popcorn you paid for, the woman at the concession stand gave you a box. “Whatever you do,” she said, “don’t open it.” But you did, because how could you not? Telling you not to was pretty much a dare. When you opened the box…

Email what you wrote to woof at bright dot net by the end of this Saturday (put “Norman is Unbelievably Handsome” in the subject line). I’ll post three of my favorite entries next Monday. Include your first name (or, even better, use a pen name) and age (unless you’re tortoise-old). If you’re a published writer, include a biography to be posted with your entry.

Here are the entries from last week when I asked you to write for three minutes about the time you…

…met a talking frog in the woods. He seemed to be in a hurry. He stopped only long enough to tell you he was from another planet and to ask for directions to the nearest library. You knew he was lying. He wasn’t an alien, he was really…

Kelly Bingham

www.kellybinghamonline.com

When I heard Kelly Bingham had written a young adult novel called SHARK GIRL I couldn’t wait to read it. Turns out it’s not about a girl/shark hybrid, but I liked it anyway. Check out the title of her picture book that’s coming out in March 2012: Z IS FOR MOOSE. I’m not sure what it’s about, but I’m guessing it’s the greatest prank ever played on a whole generation of early readers.

Morzant interviewed Kelly last year, so she knows all about talking frogs (see his August 24, 2010 post). Who knows, maybe what she wrote for this will show up in her next book. No thanks necessary, Kelly. Just send cash.

He wasn’t an alien, he was really…

…a talking frog! So…where would a talking frog come from? Not from outer space. From a circus. A traveling magic show? Or…the lab of a mad scientist! Maybe the kind of mad scientist that makes animals or people wear hats with curly wires coming out of them, and then he flips a giant switch and there’s all this zapping, and then PRESTO! The creatures have switched minds. So—if there is a talking frog walking around looking for a library, that very possibly means that somewhere, there is a normal sized person, possibly wearing glasses and carrying a library card, hopping around and ribbiting. Ew—maybe even eating bugs! Well. Your day just got complicated, didn’t it? Because now you have to direct the frog to the library (and he does walk SO slowly) and then you have to make a mad dash all around town, looking for a person squatting and hopping and bulging his or her throat out. You wouldn’t want any harm to come to them, after all. It’s not their fault they were tampered with by a mad scientist. And if you can be the first to snap a photo and sell it to a tabloid, why not? It’s only fair.

But despite a thorough search of town, and even HOURS in the ice cream shop eating ice cream and watching people walk by, (in case our human-frog hops by, of course) there is simply no sign of a person who’s been changed to a frog. Instead, just as you are finishing up your raspberry sundae, here comes that talking frog again, carrying a stack of books! You slip out the store, follow the frog, and discover that he’s heading straight for………

Oh shoot, Norman. My three minutes are up. Well—that was a fantastic free-write. And I’m certainly looking forward to your next one! I hope you have good luck on your novel. And now, I need to get back to mine!

I’m dying to know where Kelly’s talking frog was heading. I’m guessing back to his lab to study the tensile properties of Rice Krispies Treats.

Violet the Telekinetic Puppy

He wasn’t an alien, he was really…

…a talking frog who wanted me to show him how to get to the library and when we got there we saw lots of other frogs and all the frogs were having a party. There was another talking frog who was telling a joke to a laughing frog. There were other frogs at the party too and one was a hiccuping frog and one was a singing frog and one was a frog who played the drums. I told the frogs they’d better be quiet or the librarian would make them leave the library and that’s just what happened and because I was with the noisy frogs I had to leave too. And that’s when the first talking frog told me again that he was an alien and I thought he was lying before because his nose grew when he said it but then I knew he wasn’t lying because he took me and all the other frogs to his ship and took us for a ride to the library on the moon. Then we went for ice cream.

Morzant the Alien

He wasn’t an alien, he was really…

…was an esteemed intergalactic scientist sent to Earth to collect various lifeforms to study. He pretended to be a talking frog so Earthlings wouldn’t be aware of his mission. He thought it only sporting, however, to reveal his true identity to his prospective specimens. His ship was scheduled to depart forthwith and he had yet to collect a reptile. He knew turtles were especially dim-witted and easy to catch—especially the ones invisible from the waist down—so he approached you. As per his personal specimen-collecting code of conduct he revealed his true identity to you and asked how to get to the nearest library. He pretended not to understand the directions you supplied him with so you’d agreed to walk him to the library. You did, predictably unaware that you were leading him to his spaceship which was hidden in the library’s basement. Fortunately for you, along the way, the esteemed intergalactic scientist spotted a black mamba—a snake venomous both in the poisonous sense and in temperament—whose company for his long voyage home he deemed more desirable than yours. You watched in amazement as the ship took off. Then you were eaten by a gorilla.

Thanks to Kelly, Violet, and Morzant for sharing their creative (and sometimes disturbing and hostile) writing.

I can’t wait to read what you all think is in that mysterious box. Be careful. You never know where a black mamba might show up.

WHAT IS YOUR DOG DOING? (Picture Book)

by Marilyn Singer, illustrated by Kathleen Habbley

Atheneum-Simon & Schuster, 2011

A Book Review by

Violet the Telekinetic Puppy

I’m Violet and I’m a dog and the thing that I am doing is telling you about the picture book WHAT IS YOUR DOG DOING? This book does not have a story with a beginning and a middle and an end. It has lots of little stories about what dogs are doing. On one page a dog is doing a thing and on the next page another dog is doing another thing and there are words that that describe what the first dog is doing and those words rhyme with the words that describe what the second dog is doing. And then you turn the page and see more dogs doing more things.

One example is the brown dog who is “dreaming” about a cupcake with pink frosting and in his dream the brown dog is eating the cupcake and he has pink frosting on his muzzle and on the next page is a matching story about a black and white dog who is “scheming” about how to get the cupcakes with pink frosting from a tray high up on a kitchen table. If the black and white dog were telekinetic like me he could just think about the cupcakes coming to him and they would but he is not telekinetic like me so he has to get the cupcakes another way and that way is to pull on the flowery tablecloth to make the cupcakes with pink frosting slide off the table. That dog is clever and soon he will have pink frosting on his muzzle like the brown dog does.

Some of the the dogs are doing things outside and some the dogs are doing things inside but all of the dogs are doing fun things. Even when they are doing naughty things they are having fun because the thing that dogs do best is have fun.

The pictures are bright and colorful and have lots of details that are fun to look at. One of my favorite pictures is the dog who is hiding behind a curtain but he is not a very good hider because his nose and his wagging tail are sticking out. My other favorite picture is actually two pictures because it is a big picture that takes up two pages and it is the waiting room at a veterinarian’s office. You might think I wouldn’t like to see a veterinarian’s office and usually I wouldn’t because I don’t like to get shots or to have my ears pulled but I like the waiting room at the veterinarian’s office in this book because there are lots of funny details in the drawings like the magazine that has articles for dogs about how to beg and there is also a picture of a Saint Bernard sitting on his person’s lap only you can hardly see the person because the Saint Bernard is so big and that is funny.

The thing that I was doing was telling you about this book but now I am doing something else and the thing that I am doing now is wondering what the author and illustrator of this book are doing and I hope the thing that they are doing is making more books.

The thing that you should be doing right now is reading this book.

Here is a list of who will like this book:

Readers who like cupcakes with pink frosting.

Readers who like dogs.

You.

The thing that I am doing now is saying “good-bye.” Good-bye.

Three Minutes with a Talking Frog

Normanday #1: It Begins

Geesh. Have you read Morzant’s posts? He makes it sound like all I ever do is yank his chain. Do I tease him? Sure. Do I convince him to believe crazy stuff I make up? Who wouldn’t be tempted to mess a little with a gullible extraterrestrial? Do I interrupt his interviews and disrupt his experiments? Is that so wrong? Do I pretend to think he’s a frog? Heh-heh. Yeah. That’s fun. Is everything I do designed to amuse myself at his expense? Of course not. Some things I do only start out that way.

Take my novel. True, originally I only pretended to be writing a novel to get Morzant’s goat (see his November 2, 2010 post). But then I found out I actually like to write. Ever since, I’ve been working hard on my future award-winning novel.

Morzant gets Tuesdays for his posts. I asked Bigfoot if I could have a day on the blog all to myself, too. He said I could have Monday as long as I didn’t use it to torment Morzant. Fine, fine. My second choice is to use Mondays to help you have writing fun. This is how it’ll go: I’ll give you something to write about for three minutes and you’ll do it. Ready?

Write for three minutes about the time you…

…met a talking frog in the woods. He seemed to be in a hurry. He stopped only long enough to tell you he was from another planet and to ask for directions to the nearest library. You knew he was lying. He wasn’t an alien, he was really…

Okay, now share what you wrote with me and the followers of BIGFOOT READS. Send what you wrote to woof at bright dot net by the end of this Friday (put “Norman is the Greatest” in the subject line). I’ll post a couple of my favorite entries next Monday. Include your first name (or, even better, use a pen name) and age (unless you’re tortoise-old). If you’re a published writer, include a biography to be posted with your entry.

NO DOGS ALLOWED! (Picture Book)

by Linda Ashman, illustrated by Kristin Sorra

Sterling, 2011

A Book Review by

Oliver the Telepathic Puppy

When I saw this book, I thought I wasn’t supposed to read it because the cover says: NO DOGS ALLOWED! That hurt my feelings. Then it made me mad. I like the dog on the cover and I wanted to know that dog’s story.

I read this book even though the cover told me not to. Nobody yelled at me. I found out that NO DOGS ALLOWED! isn’t a warning for dogs not to read this book. It’s the book’s title.

NO DOGS ALLOWED! is about a man named Alberto who doesn’t want animals to come to his restaurant. He has tables set up on the sidewalk outside his restaurant. He has a chalkboard sign next to the tables. On it is the word “WELCOME!” When Alberto sees a boy and a dog coming near, he changes the sign. The new words he writes are “NO DOGS ALLOWED.” The boy and the dog don’t ignore the no dogs allowed sign like I sometimes do. They cross the street to sit by a fountain.

Next Alberto sees a girl and a cat coming. He changes the words on the sign again. This time he writes NO DOGS OR CATS ALLOWED. The girl and the cat join the boy and the dog at the fountain.

Alberto has to keep changing his sign because every person that comes by has a different kind of animal with them. Soon there are a lot of people and all different types of animals having fun together around the fountain. A woman with an ice cream and lemonade stand gets all their business while Alberto is all alone on the other side of the street. Because he didn’t welcome the animals he isn’t selling any food. Everybody except Alberto is having a good time until the ice cream and lemonade stand runs out of goodies. That’s when the boy and the dog try to convince Alberto to change his sign one more time. You can read this book yourself to see if Alberto agrees.

This story has just a few words. A few of those few words are things that are said, but most of those few words are written on the sign.

My favorite part of this book is looking at all the different people and animals who show up. A penguin rides in a kangaroo’s pouch. A girl hula hoops with a bunny. A hippopotamus sips lemonade from a straw in a glass held by a bird. Even with just a few words, this is a book that can be read over and over whether you are a dog like me, a person, a cat, or an iguana. Everybody is allowed to read this book.

Briar’s Journal (November 1 to 15, 2011)

Dream Entry*

April 3, 2007

My friends and I strap giant butter knives to our feet so we can go cross-country skiing. A duck is riding in Bigfoot’s purple backpack. The sun is shining bright. Yellow rivulets of melting butter run down the side of the mountain. When we stop to rest, Norman and Morzant start arguing about which is the more talented yodeler. Beverly suggests a yodeling contest.

We each take a turn. Bigfoot’s yodel is low and mournful. Penny sounds like an opera singer. We all cover our ears for Morzant’s shrill yodel. Norman makes a sound like a harmonica. I’m sure I can win with a beagle yodel. I throw my head back and start to sing.

“Quack!”

I try again.

“Cock-a-doodle-do!”

And again.

“Rumpelstiltskin!”

Everybody is alarmed. I try to explain that’s not how I usually sound when I yodel, but nobody is listening to me. They’re staring up the mountain at the avalanche tumbling toward us. Before we can ski away, we’re buried in mounds of butter-covered books.

The books burying BIGFOOT:

12 THINGS TO DO BEFORE YOU CRASH AND BURN

by James Proimos

[YOUNG ADULT]

Roaring Brook

November 8, 2011

DON’T EXPECT MAGIC by Kathy McCullough

[YOUNG ADULT]

Delacorte-Random House

November 8, 2011

EXTRAORDINARY*: *THE TRUE STORY OF

MY FAIRYGODPARENT, WHO ALMOST KILLED ME,

AND CERTAINLY NEVER MADE ME A PRINCESS

by Adam Selzer

[YOUNG ADULT]

Delacorte-Random House

November 8, 2011

FETCHING by Kiera Stewart

[YOUNG ADULT]

Hyperion-Disney

November 8, 2011

FINDING SOMEWHERE by Joseph Monninger

[YOUNG ADULT]

Delacorte-Random House

November 8, 2011

LITTLE WOMEN AND ME by Lauren Baratz-Logsted

[YOUNG ADULT]

Bloomsbury USA

November 8, 2011

ALSO KNOWN AS ROWAN POHI by Ralph Fletcher

[YOUNG ADULT]

Clarion-Houghton Mifflin

November 15, 2011

The books burying MORZANT:

EXTRAORDINARY ENDANGERED ANIMALS

by Sandrine Sihol and Gaelle Guerive,

illustrated by Marie Doucedame

[MIDDLE GRADE—NON-FICTION]

Abrams

November 1, 2011

NORTH: THE AMAZING STORY OF ARCTIC MIGRATION

by Nick Dawson, illustrated by Patrick Benson

[PICTURE BOOK—NON-FICTION]

Candlewick

November 8, 2011

The books burying MORTIMER:

MOUSENET by Prudence Breitrose,

with illustrations by Stephanie Yue

[MIDDLE GRADE]

Hyperion-Disney

November 8, 2011

The books burying PENNY:

DARK EDEN by Patrick Carman

[YOUNG ADULT]

Katherine Tegen-HarperCollins

November 1, 2011

DARK INSIDE by Jeyn Roberts

[YOUNG ADULT]

Simon & Schuster

November 1, 2011

DARKER STILL: A NOVEL OF MAGIC MOST FOUL

by Leanna Renee Hieber

[YOUNG ADULT]

Sourcebooks Fire-Sourcebooks

November 1, 2011

THE PLEDGE by Kimberly Derting

[YOUNG ADULT]

Margaret K. McElderry-Simon & Schuster

November 15, 2011

SHATTER ME by Tahereh Mafi

[YOUNG ADULT]

HarperCollins

November 15, 2011

The books burying the DUCK:

HOME FOR CHRISTMAS by Jane Brett

[PICTURE BOOK]

Putnam-Penguin

November 1, 2011

MY VERY UNFAIRY TALE LIFE by Anna Staniszewski

[MIDDLE GRADE]

Sourcebooks Jabberwocky-Sourcebooks

November 1, 2011

INHERITANCE by Christopher Paolini

[YOUNG ADULT—FOURTH IN THE INHERITANCE CYCLE]

Knopf-Random House

November 8, 2011

DEATH WATCH by Ari Berk

[YOUNG ADULT—FIRST IN THE UNDERTAKER TRILOGY]

Simon & Schuster

November 15, 2011

The books burying NORMAN:

ZEKE BARTHOLOMEW: SUPERSPY! by Jason Pinter

[MIDDLE GRADE]

Sourcebooks Jabberwocky-Sourcebooks

November 1, 2011

THE DEAD GENTLEMEN by Matthew Cody

[MIDDLE GRADE]

Knopf-Random House

November 8, 2011

THE ALWAYS WAR by Margaret Peterson Haddix

[YOUNG ADULT]

Simon & Schuster

November 15, 2011

DIARY OF A WIMPY KID: CABIN FEVER by Jeff Kinney

[MIDDLE GRADE—SIXTH IN THE SERIES]

Amulet-Abrams

November 15, 2011

The books burying BEVERLY:

PLAYGROUND by 50 Cent

[YOUNG ADULT]

Razorbill-Penguin

November 1, 2011

THE STORY OF CHRISTMAS by Pamela Dalton

[PICTURE BOOK]

Chronicle

November 2, 2011

THE SCAR by Charlotte Moundlic,

illustrated by Olivier Tallec

[PICTURE BOOK]

Candlewick

November 8, 2011

LATASHA AND THE LITTLE RED TORNADO

by Michael Scotto, with illustrations by Evette Gabriel

[MIDDLE GRADE]

Midlandia Press

November 15, 2011

THE THIRD GIFT by Linda Sue Park,

illustrated by Bagram Ibatoulline

[PICTURE BOOK]

Clarion-Houghton Mifflin

November 15, 2011

WHEREVER YOU GO by Heather Davis

[YOUNG ADULT]

Harcourt-Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

November 15, 2011

The books burying OLIVER:

NO TWO ALIKE by Keith Baker

[PICTURE BOOK]

Beach Lane-Simon & Schuster

November 1, 2011

RED SLED by Lita Judge

[PICTURE BOOK]

Atheneum-Simon & Schuster

November 1, 2011

A HOUSE IN THE WOODS by Inga Moore

[PICTURE BOOK]

Candlewick

November 8, 2011

STUCK by Oliver Jeffers

[PICTURE BOOK]

Philomel-Penguin

November 10, 2011

The books burying LENNY:

UTTERLY OTTERLY NIGHT by Mary Casanova,

illustrated by Ard Hoyt

[PICTURE BOOK]

Simon & Schuster

November 1, 2011

HOMER, THE LIBRARY CAT by Reeve Lindbergh,

illustrated by Anne Wilsdorf

[PICTURE BOOK]

Candlewick

November 8, 2011

HOW TO BE A GOOD CAT by Gail Page

[PICTURE BOOK]

Bloomsbury USA

November 8, 2011

TOM’S TWEET by Jill Esbaum, illustrated by Dan Santat

[PICTURE BOOK]

Knopf-Random House

November 8, 2011

The books burying VIOLET:

THE WORST TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS

by Sudipta Bardhan-Quallen, illustrated by Ryan Wood

[PICTURE BOOK]

Abrams

November 1, 2011

DOG BREATH by Carolyn Beck,

illustrated by Brooke Kerrigan

[PICTURE BOOK]

Fitzhenry & Whiteside

November 15, 2011

* The dream entries from Briar’s journal contain premonitions of books that will be published in the future. Briar’s dream self foresees the books’ summaries and knows which will likely appeal to each of her friends. Briar always wakes up before she can see whether her friends will enjoy the books.