Briar’s Journal (October 11 to October 28, 2011)

Dream Entry*

March 15, 2003

It’s Halloween. My friends, three beagle puppies, a duck, and I are trick-or-treating. Most of us are dressed in butterfly costumes. Bigfoot and the duck are a pair of argyle socks. One of the beagle puppies floats overhead.

“I’m a Great Spangled Fritillary,” he says.

The first house we go to is made of straw. We stand in the front yard and shout:

“Trick-or-treat! Smell our feet!”

At the “feet part,” Bigfoot and the duck take a bow.

A snub-nosed man opens the door. He holds out a hair dryer. He turns it on. Warm air catches in our tissue paper wings and blows us to the curb. Bigfoot and the duck trip over each other and tumble into the shrubs. When the man goes back inside, we tip over all the ceramic cows in his radish garden.

The second house we visit is made of sticks. A frail old lady answers the door.

“Trick or treat!” she says before we get a chance to say it to her.

“We don’t have any treats for you,” Beverly says.

“Then a trick it shall be,” the frail old lady says.

She reaches out with her wrinkled hand to press the doorbell. A torrent of chocolate milk soaks us from above. The butterflies’ tissue paper wings dissolve. Bigfoot and the duck look more like designer dishrags than argyle socks.

The third house is made of bricks. It’s a creepy place. Ghosts look out at us from the upstairs windows. Bigfoot doesn’t want to stop, but Penny insists. On the porch is a pumpkin with a apple-scented candle lighting him from within. Next to him is a bowl of treats.

“Please take one,” the pumpkin says.

I reach into the bowl and pull out a peanut butter cookie. I put it in my treat bag.

Bigfoot takes his treat. It’s a book. He takes another and another until his bag is bulging. So do my other friends, the puppies, and the duck.

“Come on guys,” the pumpkin says. “I could lose my job over this.”

“Do you really want to be a porch pumpkin the rest of your life?” Bigfoot says.

“Actually, I’ve always wanted to be a pie.”

“Well, there you go,” Bigfoot says. “If you get fired you can be a—”

“An apple pie,” the pumpkin says dreamily. “Everybody loves apple pie.”

At that, each of the trick-or-treaters puts a book or two back into the bowl, but they still keep plenty. Even though I only took one peanut butter cookie, when I look in my bag there are dozens. I start to return a few, but I accidentally eat them instead.

We go back to the library. We all dump our treat bags on the floor in the non-fiction section so we can count our goodies. These are the Halloween treats my friends collected:

BIGFOOT’s treats:

LIFE: AN EXPLODED DIAGRAM by Mal Peet

[YOUNG ADULT]

Candlewick

October 11, 2011

NURSERY RHYME COMICS: 50 TIMELESS RHYMES FROM 50 CELEBRATED CARTOONISTS edited by Chris Duffy

[COMIC FOR VERY YOUNG READERS]

First Second-Roaring Brook

October 11, 2011

GIRLS DON’T FLY by Kristen Chandler

[YOUNG ADULT]

Viking-Penguin

October 13, 2011

DUMB LUCK by Lesley Choyce

[YOUND ADULT]

Red Deer Press

October 15, 2011

AMPLIFIED by Tara Kelly

[YOUNG ADULT]

Henry Holt

October 25, 2011

AU REVOIR, CRAZY EUROPEAN CHICK by Joe Schreiber

[YOUNG ADULT]

Houghton Mifflin

October 25, 2011

MAGGIE & OLIVER OR A BONE OF ONE’S OWN

by Valerie Hobbs, illustrated by Jennifer Thermes

[MIDDLE GRADE]

Henry Holt

October 25, 2011

STRAW HOUSE, WOOD HOUSE, BRICK HOUSE, BLOW:

FOUR NOVELLAS by Daniel Nayeri

[YOUNG ADULT]

Candlewick

October 25, 2011

MORZANT’s treats:

AROUND THE WORLD by Matt Phelan

[GRAPHIC NOVEL—NON-FICTION]

Candlewick

October 11, 2011

TREASURY OF GREEK MYTHOLOGY: CLASSIC STORIES OF

GODS, GODDESSES, HEROES & MONSTERS

by Donna Jo Napoli, illustrated by Christina Balit

[MIDDLE GRADE]

National Geographic Children’s Books

October 11, 2011

BOOKSPEAK!: POEMS ABOUT BOOKS by Laura Purdie Salas,

illustrated by Josee Bisaillon

[POETRY—PICTURE BOOK]

Clarion-Houghton Mifflin

October 25, 2011

IN SEARCH OF SASQUATCH:

AN EXERCISE IN ZOOLOGICAL EVIDENCE

by Kelly Milner Halls

[NON-FICTION—MIDDLE GRADE]

Houghton Mifflin

October 25, 2011

POEMS I WROTE WHEN NO ONE WAS LOOKING by Alan Katz, illlustrated by Edward Koren

[POETRY—MIDDLE GRADE]

Margaret K. McElderry-Simon & Schuster

October 25, 2011

PENNY’s treats:

DAVID by Mary Hoffman

[YOUNG ADULT]

Bloomsbury USA

October 11, 2011

THE SILENCE OF MURDER by Dandi Daley Mackall

[YOUNG ADULT]

Knopf-Random House

October 11, 2011

THE WATCH THAT ENDS THE NIGHT:

VOICES FROM THE TITANIC by Allan Wolf

[YOUNG ADULT]

Candlewick

October 11, 2011

BEAUTIFUL CHAOS by Kami Garcia and Margaret Stohl

[YOUNG ADULT—THIRD IN THE BEAUTIFUL CREATURES SERIES]

Little, Brown-Hachette

October 18, 2011

DEARLY, DEPARTED by Lia Habel

[YOUNG ADULT]

Ballantine-Del Ray-Random House

October 18, 2011

THE SCORPIO RACES by Maggie Stiefvater

[YOUNG ADULT]

Scholastic

October 18, 2011

THE CHRONICLES OF HARRIS BURDICK:

FOURTEEN AMAZING AUTHORS TELL THE TALES

illustrated by Chris Van Allsburg

[MIDDLE GRADE]

Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

October 25, 2011

THE DUCKS’s treats:

THE OTHER FELIX by Keir Graff

[MIDDLE GRADE]

Roaring Brook

October 11, 2011

STEAMPUNK!: AN ANTHOLOGY OF

FANTASTICALLY RICH AND STRANGE STORIES

edited by Kelly Link and Gavin J. Grant

[YOUNG ADULT]

Candlewick

October 11, 2011

DARWEN ARKWRIGHT AND THE PEREGRINE PACT

by A.J. Hartley

[MIDDLE GRADE]

Razorbill-Penguin

October 13, 2011

TUESDAYS AT THE CASTLE by Jessica Day George

[MIDDLE GRADE]

Bloomsbury USA

October 25, 2011

NORMAN’s treats:

SECRETS AT SEA by Richard Peck,

with illustrations by Kelly Murphy

[MIDDLE GRADE]

Dial-Penguin

October 13, 2011

THE ORPHAN OF AWKWARD FALLS by Keith Graves

[MIDDLE GRADE]

Chronicle

October 19, 2011

ZOMBIE MOMMY by M.T. Anderson,

with illustrations by Kurt Cyrus

[MIDDLE GRADE—FIFTH IN THE PALS IN PERIL SERIES]

Beach Lane-Simon & Schuster

October 25, 2011

BEVERLY’s treats:

A YEAR WITHOUT AUTUMN by Liz Kessler

[MIDDLE GRADE]

Candlewick

October 11, 2011

THE MASTERWORK OF A PAINTING ELEPHANT

by Michelle Cuevas, with illustrations by Ed Young

[MIDDLE GRADE]

Farrar, Straus and Giroux

October 11, 2011

A MONTH OF SUNDAYS by Ruth White

[YOUNG ADULT]

Farrar, Straus and Giroux

October 11, 2011

MY NAME IS MINA by David Almond

[MIDDLE GRADE—PREQUEL TO SKELLIG]

Delacorte-Random House

October 11, 2011

NEVER FORGOTTEN by Patricia C. McKissack,

illustrated by Leo Dillon and Diane Dillon

[PICTURE BOOK]

Schwartz & Wade-Random House

October 11, 2011

HOW TO SAVE A LIFE by Sara Zarr

[YOUNG ADULT]

Little, Brown-Hachette

October 18, 2011

MY NAME IS NOT EASY by Debby Dahl Edwardson

[YOUNG ADULT]

Marshall Cavendish

October 28, 2011

OLIVER’s treats:

PAUL THURLBY’S ALPHABET by Paul Thurlby

[PICTURE BOOK]

Templar-Candlewick

October 11, 2011

OVER AND UNDER THE SNOW by Kate Messner

[PICTURE BOOK]

Chronicle

October 19, 2011

WILD ROSE’S WEAVING by Ginger Churchill,

illustrated by Nicole Wong

[PICTURE BOOK]

Tanglewood Press

October 18, 2011

LENNY’s treats:

SCRAWNY CAT by Phyllis Root, illustrated by Alison Friend

[PICTURE BOOK]

Candlewick

October 11, 2011

E-MERGENCY! by Tom Lichtenheld and Ezra Fields-Meyer

[PICTURE BOOK]

Chronicle

October 19, 2011

MITTENS, WHERE IS MAX? by Lola M. Schaefer,

illustrated by Susan Kathleen Hartung

[EARLY READER]

HarperCollins

October 25, 2011

VIOLET’s treats:

MUSTACHE! by Mac Barnett, illustrated by Kevin Cornell

[PICTURE BOOK]

Hyperion-Disney

October 25, 2011

PRINCESS SUPER KITTY by Antionette Portis

[PICTURE BOOK]

HarperCollins

October 18, 2011

* The dream entries from Briar’s journal contain premonitions of books that will be published in the future. Briar’s dream self foresees the books’ summaries and knows which will likely appeal to each of her friends. Briar always wakes up before she can see whether her friends will enjoy the books.

Bigfoot’s S.C.R.E.A.M.

Super Creepy Reading Extravaganza A la Mode

(Sprinkled with Humor)

So Penny came up with this thing she’s calling S.C.R.E.A.M. We’re all supposed to blog about our favorite books to read around Halloween. I know Penny. To her, Halloween means horror. But I don’t go for the scary stuff. Call me crazy, but I like sleeping with the light off. I’m all about the funny.

A FATE TOTALLY WORSE THAN DEATH

by Paul Fleischman

[YOUNG ADULT]

Candlewick, 1995 (pictured: paperback edition, 2004)

Not that funny can’t be dark. Take the first book on my list, A FATE TOTALLY WORSE THAN DEATH. It’s got what I’d call the perfect balance of humor and horror. Three vain, shallow, mean girls—Danielle, Tiffany, and Brooke—decide to put their classmate, Charity Chase, in her place for infringing on their boyfriend territory. The place they put her is the bottom of a cliff.

Enter Helga, a beautiful foreign exchange student who commits the same offense as Charity Chase. The mean girls’ plans to warn Helga off don’t go too well. They suddenly develop distracting ailments including, but not limited to: loss of hearing and bladder control, arthritis, gray hair, and liver spots. The girls become convinced that Helga is to blame and that she’s really the ghost of Charity Chase come back for revenge.

You may be asking, “Bigfoot, what’s funny about a nice girl being chased off a cliff and a vengeance curse?”

Good question. The author could have written this story in a way to make readers feel creeped out by this supernatural scenario. If he had, this book would be on Penny’s S.C.R.E.A.M. list. But because the author chose to present the main characters as over-the-top representations of superficiality, it’s on my list instead. It’s impossible not to be amused as the girls fret over the loss of their youthful beauty which is to them, as the title states, “a fate totally worse than death.”

THE BOOK THAT EATS PEOPLE

by John Perry, illustrated by Mark Fearing

[PICTURE BOOK]

Tricycle Press-Ten Speed Press-Random House, 2009

Dark humor also pops up in this picture book for younger readers. The idea is that THE BOOK THAT EATS PEOPLE eats people. By holding the book, you’re risking being eaten by it. The book alternates between warning readers that the book is dangerous and telling about the book’s previous victims. The comically disturbing illustrations show the book stalking and eating its human prey.

Full Disclosure: I laughed while reading this book. I really did. But then I was relieved to return it to the library. Don’t judge me.

Like I said, Penny likes a book with some nightmare-inducing potential. She really loves a book with a ghost. Not all ghost stories have to be scary, though. One of my favorite ghosts appears in the 42 OLD CEMETERY ROAD series. Olive C. Spence might be a little gruff now and then, but she wouldn’t hurt a fly—or a crusty old writer.

DYING TO MEET YOU

(43 OLD CEMETERY ROAD: BOOK ONE)

by Kate Klise, illustrated by M. Sarah Klise

[MIDDLE GRADE]

Harcourt-Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2009

In DYING TO MEET YOU, we meet the three main characters: Ignatius B. Grumply, a crusty old writer; Seymour Hope, an eleven-year-old boy whose parents abandoned him; and Olive C. Spence, a sometimes-gruff ghost. I almost forgot Seymour’s cat, Shadow. That makes four.

Ignatius has a deadline to meet, but he can’t seem to get any writing done. It’s a shame, because he’s already spent his $100,000 book advance. He decides to rent a house where he can work with no distractions. The bad news: he picks a place inhabited by a kid, a cat, and a ghost. Not that he believes in them. Ghosts that is. He believes in kids. He just doesn’t like them. He’s not too thrilled about cats, either. He’s allergic. The good news: Seymour, Shadow, and Olive pull Ignatius out of not only his writing slump, but his whole slump of a lonely life.

This book is told as a collection of letters, newspaper articles, and Seymour’s drawings. It’s full of classic Klise humor including clever wordplay and eccentric characters. Like Ignatius’s book publisher, Paige Turner, this book is a page turner. You’ll finish it in a hurry and have plenty of time to read the two sequels before Halloween.

OVER MY DEAD BODY

(43 OLD CEMETERY ROAD: BOOK TWO)

by Kate Klise, illustrated by M. Sarah Klise

[MIDDLE GRADE]

Harcourt-Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2009

The second book in the series actually takes place at Halloween. Dick Tater wants to ban Halloween. That means no tricks or treats. And, he’s declared that all ghost stories are to be burned. That poses a problem for Ignatius, Seymour, and Olive who write ghost stories. Even worse, Dick Tater convinces the townspeople Olive doesn’t existence. I can tell you from personal experience that not being believed in can make a body cranky.

Like the first book, this one is told in letters, articles, and drawings. Also like the first book, the resolution is satisfying and surprising. Spoiler Alert: Halloween is saved.

TILL DEATH DO US BARK

(43 OLD CEMETERY ROAD: BOOK THREE)

by Kate Klise, illustrated by M. Sarah Klise

[MIDDLE GRADE]

Harcourt-Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2011

The third book continues with Ignatius, Seymour, Shadow, and Olive living together and writing their serialized ghost stories. But their unique family is going through some growing pains. The richest man in town dies, leaving behind his beloved dog. Seymour’s deceptive tactics to keep the dog cause the entire family to re-evaluate their situation. Once again, in the funniest possible way, all the problems are solved with the assistance of ghostly intervention.

THE BEST HALLOWEEN EVER

by Barbara Robinson

[MIDDLE GRADE]

Joanna Cotler-HarperCollins, 2004

Last year I recommended THE BEST CHRISTMAS PAGEANT EVER in our “Season’s Readings” list. If you took my advice and read it, you know the infamous Herdman kids nearly ruined the town’s annual Christmas pageant, but ultimately ended up refreshing everybody’s holiday spirit by reminding them of the true meaning of Christmas.

Not that the Herdmans need a special occasion to stir up trouble, but they really shine on Halloween. To avoid the Herdman’s annual campaign of terror, the mayor decides to replace trick-or-treating with a party at the school where the Herdmans won’t be able to pull their usual shenanigans. Of course, it’s never a good idea to underestimate the Herdmans. Like with Christmas, the Herdmans remind everybody the of true meaning of the season. Halloween just isn’t Halloween without a few good scares.

Okay, okay. Maybe I could learn a little something from this book. Maybe I’ll check out my friends’ Halloween recommendations and pick out one of the scarier books to read.

I guess I can always get a night light.

A Walk in the Woods on an Eerie Evening

Tuesdays with Morzant:

Morzant Meets with Penny C. Monster to

Discuss S.C.R.E.A.M.

MORZANT: Zulko, humans. I’m on my way to the beach to see Penny. She requested use of my Tuesday blog post as a platform to announce her current initiative to have all the BIGFOOT READS cryptids share their favorite seasonal books. The season, of course, is autumn. Although I’ve lived on Earth for several years now, I’m still astounded by the quarterly change in weather patterns that occurs in the particular region in which I reside. Given Zeenton’s unique orbit around its three suns, my home planet doesn’t experience any such seasonal fluctuations.

I thoroughly enjoy all of Earth’s seasons, but I’m especially fond of autumn and the myriad changes that accompany it. Take for instance the leaves. Not only do they alter in color, but also in texture as is evidenced by the pleasing crinch-crunch-crinch sound I make by stepping on the brittle leaves that have fallen from the surrounding deciduous trees. Furthermore, the atmosphere is distinctly cooler in autumn, and it’s getting dark much earlier in the evening.

Strange. I’m usually quite observant, but I don’t believe I’ve ever noticed how grim these woods are at dusk. The bare tree branches resemble a giant Gorzontantapleor’s palpi. I wish I had brought a litomeruza to illuminate the path.

[Shooooosh.]

What was that?

[Shooooosh.]

There it is again.

[Shooooosh.]

Don’t be alarmed. I’m sure it’s only a harmless nocturnal rodent foraging among those noisy leaves we were discussing. Hmm. I just had a thought. I really should record it in my notebook for later consideration.

The leaves crackle because they are dry and decomposing. Surrounded by decay in a rapidly darkening forest, I notice for the first time that the atmosphere is charged with an almost palpable feeling of foreboding. Possible future experimentation: Explore whether “eeriness” is a tangible manifestation of autumn. Is it quantifiable?

Please forgive the interruption, but there are so many aspects of your planet I want to study. If I don’t record them, I risk forgetting—

[Ticka-tat-ticka-tat.]

Oh, dear. I’m considerably late for my appointment to meet with Penny on the beach. I’ll just pick up my pace a bit.

[Ticka-tat. Crinch-crunch-crinch. Shooooosh.]

Actually, I’ve been meaning to take up jogging. Aerobic exercise is beneficial to the cardiovascular system.

[Crinch-crunch-crinch! Traka-tuk-tuk! Crinch-crunch-crinch!]

In my case, since I have three hearts I should really run three times as fast.

[Crinch-crunch-crinch! Crinch-crunch-crinch! Crinch-crunch-crinch!]

I can’t…huh-huh…run…huh…any…huh…more…

Got to…huh…catch…huh-huh…my breath…

…listen…the sounds seem to have stopped…

Huh.

I admit, I was afraid for a moment. I certainly feel foolish now. Those were obviously everyday sounds of nature. In fact, the woods would be infinitely more frightening in the absence of sound. Utter silence can be quite unsettling. Like now, when there isn’t so much as the flapping of bat wings. This acute quiet is like the calm immediately preceding an explosive chemical reaction. It’s as if the forest is holding its breath, waiting for the moment when someone—or something—will suddenly burst forth and attack, eliciting a deafening shriek of terror from its helpless Zeentonian victim.

PENNY: Hi.

MORZANT: Ahhhhhhhh!

PENNY: Morzant! It’s just me!

MORZANT: Buttered weasels, Penny!

PENNY: Sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you. But ’tis the season!

MORZANT: It’s the season for giving me a ternary heart attack? What are you doing here?

PENNY: I returned some library books and was on my way to the beach when I saw you go into the woods. I tried to catch up with you, but you took off like crazy.

MORZANT: I thought you were a giant Gorzontantapleor.

PENNY: A what?

MORZANT: Nevermind. Can we please get out of these woods before I faint? It’s creepy in here.

PENNY: Isn’t it, though? Everything about this time of year gives me goosebumps. That’s why it’s the perfect time for my S.C.R.E.A.M. project.

MORZANT: Scream?

PENNY: S.C.R.E.A.M. It stands for: Super Creepy Reading Extravaganza A la Mode. We’re all going to make a list of our favorite Halloween books to share with BIGFOOT READS followers.

MORZANT: Halloween? When you told me we’d be recommending seasonal books, I assumed you meant stories about industrious squirrels stockpiling sustenance for the dearth of winter or instructional literature regarding apple cider preparation. But, I suppose if you insist on using this season to promote the horror genre, I do know of a zombie book or two I could suggest.

PENNY: Great! Thanks, Morzant!

MORZANT: You’re welcome, Penny. Now if it’s all the same to you, I’m going home. It’s one thing to read a horror novel for a momentary chill while in the safety of one’s own lab; it’s quite another to stand in an autumnal forest at night waiting to be devoured by a giant Gorzontantapleor.

PENNY: A what?

MORZANT: Nevermind. Oh, and Penny? Why “a la mode”?

PENNY: Because everything’s better with ice cream. That’s why we all scream for it.

MORZANT: Good-night, Penny.

PENNY: Good-night, Morzant.

MORZANT: And good-night to you, humans. If you’re interested in the Halloween selections proffered by my friends and me, be sure to visit BIGFOOT READS over the coming days.