Three Minutes as a Goldfish

Normanday #28: Getting nowhere

Write for three minutes about…

…being a goldfish.

Email what you wrote to woof at bright dot net by the end of the day May 20 (put “Norman has Herculean Strength” in the subject line). I’ll post as many of my favorite entries as I want next Monday. Include your first name (or, even better, use a pen name) and age (unless you’re tortoise-old). If you’re a published children’s or young adult writer, include a biography to be posted with your entry.

Here is the single entry from last week when I asked you to write for three minutes about…

…Bruce and the free advice he gave you. What was the advice and what happened when you followed (or didn’t follow) it?

Cranberly

I am not one for investing. Actually, I am pretty bad at finances all together. So I met with Bruce Thewise, investor to the stars. Well, “met” is not the real world. Unfortunately, not being a star, Bruce doesn't have much time for me. I really don’t have a lot of money to invest—only $100. I saw him at the coffee shop where I work. He had just ordered an extra large mocha-fropa-cino-latte at 102 degrees with chocolate whip cream and an extra shot of expresso. He was very specific. He paid and I noticed he didn’t add anything to the tip jar. So I said “Hey, Bruce, any tips?” And he chuckled and said “Yeah, buy high and sell low!” and left with his beverage. I was annoyed by the lack of actual tip but figured he is an investor and maybe I could use what he had to say to improve my finances.

The first thing I did was look online eBought.wiw for something to buy. I bought a used bike for $50 plus $15 shipping. I decided to sell it on charleslist.orf, on online newspaper of sorts. It’s kind of like just the classifieds part of the newspaper. You can find jobs there and buy some real “quality” stuff from strangers, like “vintage” sofas, complete with cat hair and fingernail clippings under the cushions. My bike from eBought arrived. It’s not a great bike. It’s pretty small and rusty and had 2 flat tires and the bell on the handle doesn’t ring. So I filled the tires with air, plugged the holes with some rubber cement and bought some spray paint for $5 and sprayed over the rust and took off the bell. Then I took a photo and listed on the "For Sale" section of charleslist.orf. Since I bought it for $50, I thought I would sell it for $45. That is buying high and selling low. I had one offer for $35. I told the guy he could buy it for that, but had to come get it. We agreed to meet at the coffee shop the following day. The dude came, was annoyed at the size and condition of the bike, said he would only give me $10 for it. The tires were flat again and the bike was in such bad condition, it was nearly impossible to ride. I agreed, because I really didn’t need an unrideable bike and wouldn’t it be better to sell lower anyway? I was hoping he would at least stay and buy some coffee and give me a tip, but he didn't. I guess he doesn’t drink coffee.

So, after my excursion, I have $40 left to invest. This “buy high and sell low” advice is starting to sound a little iffy. Maybe next time Bruce Thewise comes in, I will make his coffee only 95 degrees, not 102! Maybe next time, I will “forget” the extra shot.

Or did he say “Buy low, sell high”?