Three Minutes of Make-Believe Appreciation

Normanday #24: Thanks for nothing

Spend three minutes writing a thank you note to somebody for something you wish they had done.

Email what you wrote to woof at bright dot net by the end of the day April 22 (put “Norman is Delightful” in the subject line). I’ll post as many of my favorite entries as I want next Monday. Include your first name (or, even better, use a pen name) and age (unless you’re tortoise-old). If you’re a published children’s or young adult writer, include a biography to be posted with your entry.

Here are the entries from last week when I asked you to write for three minutes…

…using a random overheard phrase as a starting point…

Tren Rewy Steb

Look at that kid standing at the bus stop. That backpack looks heavy. Probably full of all that homework he stayed up late working on. I hear the bus coming. Yep. There it is. That kid sure is dragging his feet up the steps. Almost like he’s about to be taken to the pound. Poor kid. I see him at the window near the back. He’s frowning. I wonder if he’s realized yet that he left his lunch on the counter. I smell the peanut butter crackers. And the oatmeal cookies. I’ll see to it they don’t go to waste. Well, there goes the bus. He’ll be gone for hours. What to do, what to do. I could go play in the backyard. Explore a little. Or better yet, maybe I’ll crawl back under the covers. Yes, that’s what I’ll do.

I love being a dog.

Ralph

Thanks for taking me to the movies.

You’re welcome, sweetie.

Thanks for letting me pick out the movie.

You’re welcome, sweetie.

Thanks for getting me popcorn and candy.

You’re welcome, sweetie.

Thanks for letting me hold the popcorn.

You’re welcome, sweetie.

Thanks for explaining that scene with the guy who knew why the woman had the coin but who wouldn’t show the coin to the other woman in the red hat.

You’re welcome, sweetie.

Thanks for explaining that other scene with the man who found the documents, even though the guy in front of us turned around and glared at you so meanly.

You’re welcome, sweetie.

Thanks for getting me a refill on my pop, even though it meant you missed the scene with the skydiving puppets.

You’re welcome, sweetie.

Thanks for staying with me through the credits. I like looking for the name Fred.

You’re welcome, sweetie.

Thanks for taking me out for ice cream after.

You’re welcome, sweetie.

Thanks for paying extra for sprinkles.

You’re welcome, sweetie.

Do you want to go to the movies again tomorrow night?

No thanks, sweetie.

Bigfoot

I’m not responsible for odd toenails.

Are you at least responsible for the even ones?

No need to be sarcastic, ma’am. The process isn’t exact. Some variation in toenail shape is to be expected. Most people realize that.

Well, I didn’t. I want a refund.

I’m sorry. I don’t do refunds. Besides, there’s no way to tell that toenail didn’t get mangled after you took possession of it.

What are you saying? Are you calling me a liar?

It wouldn’t be the first time a customer tried to return a toenail after they’d dropped a skillet on it, or stubbed it on a curb.

Will you at least let me exchange it?

That’s not my policy.

Your policy just cost you a customer.

That’s too bad. I’m running a special on eyelashes. Two for the price of one.