Three Minutes on the Phone

Normanday #109: Leave a message at the beep.

Your phone rings. You don’t recognize the number, but you answer it anyway. Write for three minutes about…

…who’s calling and what they say.

Email what you wrote to bigfootreads dot wernert at gmail dot com by the end of the day January 5 (put “Norman is Intuitive” in the subject line). I’ll post as many of my favorite entries as I want next Monday. Include your first name (or, even better, use a pen name) and age (unless you’re tortoise-old).

Here is the single entry from last week when I asked you to write for three minutes about…

…your plans and hopes for the upcoming year.

Norman

What with all I accomplished this year, you probably think I’d want to take a year off to rest. But you’d be wrong. When you have a reputation for being awesome, people expect you not only to live up to, but to surpass your past feats of glory. This year’s list of accomplishments is too long to get into now since I only have three minutes, so I’ll focus on what I plan to do in the upcoming year. My list includes, but is not limited to:

• discovering a cure for hiccups
• climing Mount Everest (especially treacherous for a reptile because of the whole ectothermic thing)
• rollerblading with the bulls in Pamplona
• writing a biography about Archie Fairly Carr, Jr.
• learning how to make homemade waffles

Bigfoot

Many years ago I found a hollowed-out tree in a particular forest on a particular continent on a particular planet in a particular universe. It was the perfect size for my—never mind what for…the point is, it was the perfect place to hide this secret valuable thing that’s none of your business. I spend a lot of time in the woods, so I didn’t think I’d have trouble finding the tree again. That’s why I didn’t bother to make a map. I’ve tried to find the tree again and again, but have never been able to. It’s been a long time. The thing I hid must be worth a fortune by now. My goal this year is to find the tree so I can get my hands on the thing I hid inside it. Don’t get any crazy ideas of finding it yourself. Remember, I have an alien for a friend. For all you know, it’s not even on Earth. Come to think of it, for all I know it is. I don’t remember which forest on which continent on which planet in which universe the tree is. My new year’s resolution is already doomed, isn’t it?

Season’s Readings 2013

A Message From Bigfoot:

I’ve been having trouble getting in the Christmas spirit this year. Don’t ask me why. I put up a tree and decorated it with ornaments I made when I was a kid. I drank eggnog. I ate donuts with green and red sprinkles. I took the puppies caroling. More like carol-howling, actually. I watched Linus explain the meaning of Christmas to Charlie Brown. But here it’s Christmas Eve and I don’t have that Christmassy feeling.

My friends are trying to help. They made this list of Christmassy books they say will help put me in the mood. I can think of worse ways to spend Christmas Eve than with a bunch of good books. (The Christmas Eve Morzant forced us to compare the tensile properties of Rice Krispies Treats to those of fruitcakes comes to mind.)

You know, having friends who would make this list for me is already starting to do the trick. Now, if only it would snow…

BRIAR’S RECOMMENDATION

JUNIE B., FIRST GRADER: JINGLE BELLS, BATMAN SMELLS! 

(P.S. SO DOES MAY.)

by Barbara Park, with illustrations by Denise Brunkus

[CHAPTER BOOK]

Random House, 2005

This is the perfect book to read to get in the Christmas spirit. Junie B. doesn’t get along with one of her classmates, May. May tends to tattle on Junie B. and Junie B. isn’t especially nice to May either. When she draws May’s name for the classroom Secret Santa exchange, she’s upset until she figures out the perfect gift for May—a charcoal briquette. Meanwhile, when she’s supposed to be picking out Christmas presents for her family, Junie B. finds something she wants for herself. It costs more than all the presents for her family put together. With her feeling so hateful toward May and caring more about getting something for herself than her family, Junie B. isn’t in the Christmas spirit for most of the story. But at the end, everything comes together in a perfect and surprising Christmassy way.

PENNY’S RECOMMENDATION

CHRISTMAS TALES OF TERROR

by Chris Priestley

[MIDDLE GRADE—eBOOK]

Bloomsbury, 2013

I like Christmas lights and carols and snow and all that, but I also like creepy stuff. Usually I think of Halloween as being the best time to read scary stories, but this year I found a scary Christmas eBook. It has seven super freaky, ultra eerie, keep-you-awake-with-fear-on-Christmas-Eve stories. In A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens, mean old Ebenezer Scrooge is visited by a bunch of Christmas ghosts. The story is a little creepy because of the ghosts, but mostly it’s warm and fuzzy because the ghosts are good. They visit Scrooge to warn him that he’d better be good for goodness sakes or bad things will happen to him and, at the end, Scrooge is nicer and lives happily ever after.

Most of the characters in CHRISTMAS TALES OF TERROR aren’t very nice to begin with either, but instead of getting a friendly nudge to mend their ways, they get a dose of creepy Christmas comeuppance. The characters mostly don’t live happily ever after, and some don’t live ever after period.

All the stories build off familiar Christmas traditions, so they make you look at Christmas in a new, spooky light. This is extra thrilling and chilling while reading by the familiar old lights on your Christmas tree.

OLIVER’S RECOMMENDATION

LITTLE SANTA

by Jon Agee

[PICTURE BOOK]

Dial-Penguin, 2013

This book has everything a Christmas book needs. It has snow, flying reindeer, elves, Santa Claus, and a good story. It’s about Santa as a little boy. He and his family live in the North Pole. He has two parents, three brothers, three sisters, and a dog. It’s hard work to live in the North Pole. They cut firewood to keep them warm. They shovel snow all the time. They ice fish.

Only Santa likes living in the North Pole. He makes snowmen and likes to decorate trees and make gingerbread cookies. His favorite thing to do is go down the chimney. The rest of his family wants to move to Florida.

They’re getting ready to move, but there’s a blizzard. It snows so much the Claus family gets trapped in their house. Santa goes out the chimney. He goes to find somebody to help dig his family out of the house. He meets a reindeer who can fly. Together they find lots of elves who live together in a big house. The elves are nice. They make shovels and a sleigh so they can fly back to Santa’s house and help his family.

The elves help the family with their North Pole chores, too. That makes the family happy, but they still want to leave the North Pole. Santa doesn’t go to Florida with them. He stays with the elves and grows up to be the Santa Claus we all know.

LENNY’S RECOMMENDATION

CHRISTMAS MOUSE

by Anne Mortimer

[PICTURE BOOK]

Katherine Tegen-HarperCollins, 2013

Christmas isn’t just one fun day when you get presents. I like all the days that come before Christmas day when you get to decorate and sing and make cookies. The mouse in this book knows that getting ready for Christmas is the best part. He decorates and sings. He puts presents underneath the tree. He shares gingerbread with a friend. He even leaves a present for a cat. That’s very Christmassy because cats and mice don’t usually get along. During Christmastime everybody remembers to be nice.

Getting ready for Christmas means seeing lots of colors. In this book there are colorful Christmas goodies that make me drool. There are colorful wrapped-up presents under the tree. The author of the book made the pictures, too. She makes the mouse and cat look soft and furry and the ornaments look bright and shiny.

My favorite picture is at the end when the mouse cozies up in his stocking to go to sleep on Christmas Eve. He’s tired out from getting ready for Christmas. Santa will have to be careful not to wake him up when he fills the mouse’s stocking.

VIOLET’S RECOMMENDATION

THE SMALLEST GIFT OF CHRISTMAS

by Peter H. Reynolds

[PICTURE BOOK]

Candlewick, 2013

I like Christmas decorations and Christmas cookies and Christmas carols and Christmas parties and Christmas cards and I also like Christmas presents. The boy in this book likes Christmas presents too and that is probably his favorite part of Christmas. The boy’s name is Roland and he is excited about Christmas morning because he wants to get presents. But Roland is angry on Christmas morning when he sees that the wrapped-up box for him under the tree is small. He thinks nothing very good could be in such a small box. Roland wishes for a bigger present and his wish works because the wrapped-up box gets bigger. But do you know what? Roland still doesn’t think the wrapped-up box is big enough so he wishes again and again and again and the wrapped-up box gets bigger and bigger and bigger until it’s almost as big as his house and then it’s as big as a tall building. I would like a wrapped-up box as big as a building because it would be big enough to hold a million cookies or a flying elephant named Bob. But do you know what? Roland still doesn’t think the present is big enough so he goes looking for an even bigger present and he goes really, really, really far away from home. I won’t tell you where he goes because that will ruin the surprise but I will tell you that Roland learns that small presents are the best presents and then he is happy on Christmas.

Previous years’ recommendations:

Season’s Readings 2012

Season’s Readings 2011

Season’s Readings 2010

Three Minutes Planning for the New Year

Normanday #108: This year I’m going to learn to make waffles.

Write for three minutes about…

…your plans and hopes for the upcoming year.

Email what you wrote to bigfootreads dot wernert at gmail dot com by the end of the day December 29 (put “Norman Wants a Kiss on New Year’s Eve” in the subject line). I’ll post as many of my favorite entries as I want next Monday. Include your first name (or, even better, use a pen name) and age (unless you’re tortoise-old).

Here is the single entry (poor Santa) from last week when I asked you to write for three minutes about…

…the present you plan to give to Santa Claus.

Bigfoot

Poor guy is probably tired of milk and cookies. Don’t get me wrong. Cookies are good. I like a nice chocolate chip or snickerdoodle for the holidays. But even the best cookie can’t beat the worst donut. I know I’m probably riling some cookie fans out there, but I’m just telling it like it is. So I’m thinking, Santa goes to the first few million houses on Christmas Eve, he’s pretty burnt out on cookies by the time he gets to my place. Then he sees that glorious plate by the fireplace—a baker’s dozen of glazed donuts. Enough for him, his reindeer, and a few extra for the road…er, I mean sky. I’m thinking Santa’s going to love that. It’s the least I can do. The guy is always getting me something nice. Maybe he’ll even leave some glazed donuts under my tree this year.

I DARE YOU NOT TO YAWN (Picture Book)

by Hélène Boudreau, illustrated by Serge Bloch

Candlewick, 2013

A Book Review by 

Oliver the Telepathic Puppy

Have you ever noticed that when you see somebody yawn, it makes you feel like yawning, too? This book is about that. It’s also about how you have to be careful not to yawn. When you yawn, you look tired. If you look tired, you’ll be told it’s bedtime. Sometimes you don’t want to go to bed. You want to play. You want to draw. You want to watch TV. This book has tips for how to keep from yawning so you won’t have to go to bed early.

I like this book. It’s funny. The little boy in the book runs away from comfy pajamas and cuddly stuffed animals because those things lead to yawning. He also covers his ears so he can’t hear bedtime songs. He doesn’t want to be sent to bed.

If you don’t want to be sent to bed, be careful when you read this book. It has a lot of pictures of people and animals yawning. Seeing those pictures made me yawn. I yawned three times when I read this book. You should only read this book if nobody is around to see you yawn or if you’re ready to go to bed.

EXTRA YARN (Picture Book)

by Mac Barnett, illustrated by Jon Klassen

Balzer & Bray-HarperCollins, 2012

A Book Review by 

Violet the Telekinetic Puppy

I’m Violet and I’m going to tell you about a book about a box with lots and lots and lots of yarn in it. Annabelle is a little girl who finds the box of yarn and she uses the yarn to knit sweaters for everybody and everything in town even the people and the animals and the mailboxes and the houses and because everyone and everything is wearing a colorful sweater the town is extra pretty. She also makes a hat. The best part is that even though she knits lots and lots and lots of sweaters and a hat and even though the box of yarn looks small Annabelle never runs out of yarn.

An archduke wants the box of yarn and when Annabelle won’t give it to him he steals it because he is a mean and greedy archduke. But guess what? When he opens the box there isn’t lots and lots and lots of yarn in it. There isn’t any yarn in the box at all. Then Annabelle gets the box back and there is lots and lots and lots of yarn in it again.

Lenny says that the box is magic but I think it is the yarn that is magic and Oliver thinks it is Annabelle’s knitting needles that are magic. Maybe all three of us are right or maybe all three of us are wrong and it is Annabelle who is magic. It is fun to wonder where the yarn comes from and how it all fits in the small box and it is also fun to look at the pictures in this book and my favorite picture is at the end when Annabelle and some cats and some dogs are sitting in a tree wearing sweaters and even the tree is wearing a sweater.

After I read this book I wanted to make sweaters for everybody and everything but I can’t knit because knitters need thumbs and I am a puppy and puppies don’t have thumbs. At first I was sad but then I got happy because I figured out a way to make sweaters without knitting and if you want me to I will show you how so you can make lots and lots and lots of sweaters too.

First you need to get some supplies and in case you don’t know what supplies are I will tell you. Supplies are the things you need to have to do something like make a sweater. Annabelle’s supplies are her box of yarn and her knitting needles. Here is a list of supplies you will need:

• scissors
• hole punch
• cookie cutters (This is an extra supply. You don’t have to use cookie cutters if you don’t want to.)
• thick paper
• masking tape
• pencil
• markers or crayons
• lots and lots and lots of yarn

Now it is time to tell you what to do with the supplies.

STEP 1

First you need to decide if you want to make a sweater for a person or a dog or a waffle iron. Then use a pencil to draw the person or dog or waffle iron on a piece of thick paper and then use scissors to cut out the shape. If you need help drawing different shapes you can use a cookie cutter and trace around the cookie cutter on the thick paper.

STEP 2

A hole punch is a tool that you can use to make holes in paper and that is what you need to do next. Make the holes at the top and the bottom of your shape. If you are wondering what these holes are for don’t worry because I will tell you soon.

STEP 3

Pick a color of yarn for the sweater you are going to make and loop it around and around and around your shape so that you will know how much yarn you will need for the sweater. Then you can cut the yarn with scissors.

STEP 4

Take one end of the yarn and tie it to your shape. Tie the yarn in a knot so it won’t come loose because if it comes loose the sweater will fall apart and you will be sad and the shape will get cold.

STEP 5

You are going to push the yarn through the holes to make the sweater. It will be easier to push the yarn through the holes if the yarn has a pointy end. Yarn is soft and fluffy and not pointy so you will have to make it pointy by wrapping masking tape around the end.

STEP 6

Now you are ready to make a sweater and you will do this by pushing the pointy end of the yarn through a hole at the top of the shape and back out another hole at the bottom of the shape and through another hole at the top of the shape and back out another hole at the bottom of the shape until the sweater is done. See how the one side is all zig-zaggy and the other side is not zig-zaggy? You will have to tie another knot when you are done so the sweater doesn’t fall apart and make you sad and the shape will get cold.

STEP 7

Use crayons or markers to draw on your shapes. I don’t have a picture for this step because you probably already know how to use crayons and markers. You can draw on both sides.

Me and Lenny and Oliver made sweaters for different shapes and then used markers to draw on our shapes. If you want to see what we made I will show you.

I made a sweater for a dog with floppy orange ears and a green collar who is named Barney and I tried to make the sweater look just like the sweaters that Annabelle makes in the book EXTRA YARN.

Lenny made a cat and I think it is a very good cat and he wanted me to tell you that just because he made a cat it doesn’t mean that he likes cats because he doesn’t. I like how Lenny added whiskers on his cat and made the sweater cover the cat’s tail and legs and face. That cat will stay nice and warm this winter.

Oliver made a sweater for Bigfoot and I think it looks like an argyle sweater and if you don’t know what argyle is I will tell you that argyle is a type of decoration knitters make that looks like lots and lots and lots of rows of diamond shapes. Bigfoot has messy hair so Oliver used some yarn to make messy hair for his yarn Bigfoot.

Now you can make sweaters for everybody and everything too.

Good-bye.

Three Minutes Giving Santa a Present, Take 2

Normanday #107: Put Santa on your “nice list.”

Last week I asked you to write about the present you’d give to Santa Claus. I didn’t hear from a single writer. Tsk, tsk. Doesn’t the poor guy deserve a little something? And if you won’t do it for Santa’s sake, do it for mine. Let your Christmas present to me be three minutes of writing about…

…the present you plan to give to Santa Claus.

Email what you wrote to bigfootreads dot wernert at gmail dot com by the end of the day December 22 (put “Norman Has Been Good All Year” in the subject line). I’ll post as many of my favorite entries as I want next Monday. Include your first name (or, even better, use a pen name) and age (unless you’re tortoise-old).

Briar’s Journal (December 1 to 31, 2013)

Dream Entry*

April 5, 2003

It’s Christmas Eve. Santa calls Bigfoot with a problem. The magic that makes the reindeer fly isn’t working. Bigfoot tells Santa not to worry. He rounds up my friends, three puppies, and a duck and takes them to the North Pole. When they get there, the reindeer are already hooked up to the sleigh. Santa is pacing nervously. He keeps checking his watch. Bigfoot tells him everything will be fine. He instructs everybody to climb onto a reindeer. They do. Blitzen doesn’t look too happy to have Bigfoot sitting on his back.

Everybody is holding a sack. At first I think the sacks are full of toys for all the good little girls and boys, but they aren’t. They’re full of books. Everybody pulls out a book and starts to read aloud. A glowing light surrounds each book. Reindeer ears flick. Reindeer noses twitch. The reindeer start to prance.

“Hurry, Santa!” Bigfoot calls.

Santa jumps into the sleigh just as the reindeer begin to fly. All through the night, the cryptids keep reading to the reindeer to keep them flying.

These are the books they read to the reindeer:

The books BIGFOOT reads:

NEXT

by Kevin Waltman

[YOUNG ADULT]

Cinco Puntos

December 3, 2013

RACING SAVANNAH

by Miranda Kenneally

[YOUNG ADULT]

Sourcebooks Fire-Sourcebooks

December 3, 2013

ONE OR TWO THINGS I LEARNED ABOUT LOVE

by Dyan Sheldon

[YOUNG ADULT]

Candlewick

December 10, 2013

ROOMIES

by Sara Zarr and Tara Altebrando

[YOUNG ADULT]

Little, Brown-Hachette

December 24, 2014

AFTERPARTY

by Ann Redisch Stampler

[YOUNG ADULT]

Simon Pulse-Simon & Schuster

December 31, 2013

THE PROMISE OF AMAZING

by Robin Constantine

[YOUNG ADULT]

Balzer & Bray-HarperCollins

December 31, 2013

The books MORZANT reads:

PHILIP REID SAVES THE STATUE OF FREEDOM

by Eugene Walton and Steven Lapham, 

illustrated by R. Gregory Christie

[PICTURE BOOK—NON-FICTION]

Sleeping Bear Press-Thomson Gale

December 1, 2013

TO DARE MIGHTY THINGS: 

THE LIFE OF THEODORE ROOSEVELT

by Doreen Rappaport, illustrated by C.F. Payne

[PICTURE BOOK—NON-FICTION]

Disney-Hyperion

December 17, 2013

RUTHERFORD B., WHO WAS HE?: 

POEMS ABOUT OUR PRESIDENTS

by Marilyn Singer, illustrated by John Hendrix

[PICTURE BOOK—NON-FICTION]

Disney-Hyperion

December 17, 2013

WE SHALL OVERCOME: THE STORY OF A SONG

by Debbie Levy, 

illustrated by Vanessa Brantley-Newton

[PICTURE BOOK—NON-FICTION]

Disney-Hyperion

December 17, 2013

The books PENNY reads: 

THE SYSTEM

by Gemma Malley

[YOUNG ADULT—FINAL IN THE KILLABLES TRILOGY]

Hodder & Stoughton

December 5, 2013

THESE BROKEN STARS

by Amie Kaufman and Meagan Spooner

[YOUNG ADULT—FIRST IN THE SERIES]

Disney-Hyperion

December 10, 2013

THE INTERRUPTED TALE

by Maryrose Wood, 

with illustrations by Eliza Wheeler

[MIDDLE GRADE—FOURTH IN THE 

INCORRIGIBLE CHILDREN OF ASHTON PLACE SERIES]

Balzer & Bray-HarperCollins

December 17, 2013

ASHES TO ASHES

by Melissa Walker

[YOUNG ADULT]

Katherine Tegen-HarperCollins

December 23, 2013

CONTROL

by Lydia Kang

[YOUNG ADULT]

Dial-Penguin

December 26, 2013

The books THE DUCK reads:

REBEL SPRING

by Morgan Rhodes

[YOUNG ADULT—SECOND IN THE 

FALLING KINGDOMS SERIES]

Razorbill-Penguin

December 3, 2013

The books NORMAN reads: 

I EVEN FUNNIER

by James Patterson and Chris Grabenstein, 

with illustrations by Laura Park

[MIDDLE GRADE—SECOND IN THE I FUNNY SERIES]

Little, Brown-Hachette

December 9, 2013

HUNT FOR THE HYDRA

by Jason Fry

[MIDDLE GRADE—FIRST IN THE 

JUPITER PIRATES SERIES]

HarperCollins

December 23, 2013

The books BEVERLY reads:

SPOILS

by Tammar Stein

[YOUNG ADULT]

Random House

December 10, 2013

KNOCK KNOCK: MY DAD’S DREAM FOR ME

by Daniel Beaty, illustrated by Brian Collier

[PICTURE BOOK]

Little, Brown-Hachette

December 17, 2013

The books OLIVER reads: 

COLOUR FOR CURLEWS

by Renée Treml

[PICTURE BOOK]

Random House Australia

December 1, 2013

ONCE UPON A MEMORY

by Nina Laden, illustrated by Renata Liwksa

[PICTURE BOOK]

Little, Brown-Hachette

December 3, 2013

PAUL MEETS BERNADETTE

by Rosy Lamb

[PICTURE BOOK]

Candlewick

December 10, 2013

YOU KNOW WHAT I LOVE?

by Lorena Siminovich

[PICTURE BOOK]

Dial-Penguin

December 26, 2013

The books LENNY reads: 

AND THE CARS GO…

by William Bee

[PICTURE BOOK]

Candlewick

December 10, 2013

DOG DAYS

by Karen English, 

illustrated by Laura Freeman

[CHAPTER BOOK—FIRST IN THE 

CARVER CHRONICLES]

Clarion-Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

December 17, 2013

The books VIOLET reads: 

CONSIDER LOVE: ITS MOODS AND MANY WAYS

by Sandra Boynton

[PICTURE BOOK—REISSUE]

Little Simon-Simon & Schuster

December 3, 2013

EMMA IN PARIS

by Claire Frossard, 

with photographs by Christophe Urbain

[PICTURE BOOK—

SEQUEL TO EMMA’S JOURNEY]

Enchanted Lion

December 10, 2013

LOVE MONSTER

by Rachael Bright

[PICTURE BOOK]

Farrar, Straus and Giroux

December 24, 2013

PRINCESS PENELOPE AND THE RUNAWAY KITTEN

by Alison Murray

[PICTURE BOOK]

Nosy Crow-Candlewick

December 24, 2013

CATCHING KISSES

by Amy Gibson, 

illustrated by Maria van Lieshout

[PICTURE BOOK]

Feiwel & Friends-Macmillan

December 31, 2013

* The dream entries from Briar’s journal contain premonitions of books that will be published in the future. Briar’s dream self foresees the books’ summaries and knows which will likely appeal to each of her friends. Briar always wakes up before she can see whether her friends will enjoy the books.