Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Bigfoot’s Photography Impediment

Tuesdays with Morzant
Experiment 76.1:
Determine Whether Bigfoot’s
Digital Camera is Functioning Properly
(experiment preparation, execution, and report by Morzant)

The inability to successfully photograph Bigfoot is well-documented. More recent evidence suggests that Bigfoot as photographer is unable to take a clear photograph of other subjects
Experiment 76.2 seeks to determine whether Bigfoot’s digital camera is broken, thereby possibly eliminating a malfunctioning camera as the cause of the blurry photographs he has taken. A previous study (Experiment 76.1) found no evidence of malfunction in his 35mm film camera.

Bigfoot will take photographs of a variety of subjects using his digital camera. Morzant will use the same camera to photograph the same subjects.

If Bigfoot’s photographs are blurry and Morzant’s photographs are not,
the possibility that a malfunctioning digital camera is the cause of Bigfoot’s blurry photographs may be reasonably ruled out.

FIG. 1A: Bigfoot’s Photo; Duck; Blurry

FIG. 1B: Morzant’s Photo; Duck; Clear

FIG. 2A: Bigfoot’s Photo; Butterfly; Blurry

FIG. 2B: Morzant’s Photo; Butterly; Clear

FIG. 3A: Bigfoot’s Photo; Hot Air Balloon; Blurry

FIG. 3B: Morzant’s Photo;
Hot Air Balloon
; Clear

FIG. 4A: Bigfoot’s Photo; Heron; Blurry

FIG. 4B: Morzant’s Photo;
; Clear

FIG. 5A: Bigfoot’s Photo; Oliver; Blurry

FIG. 5B: Morzant’s Photo;
; Clear

All five photographs taken by Bigfoot appeared blurry. All five photographs taken by Morzant appeared clear.

In conclusion, Bigfoot’s inability to take a clear photograph is not due to a malfunctioning digital camera. Morzant’s ability to take clear photographs with Bigfoot's digital camera supports this supposition. Futhermore, Morzant clearly has an aptitude for photography.


Unknown said...

Bigfoot shouldn't feel so bad, though. He is good at framing the image in the photo. Maybe if he doesn't shake so much, the photo would be clearer?

Bigfoot said...

I never considered such a mundane explanation. So convinced have I been that Bigfoot's photography impediment is caused by his own chemistry make-up, that I had failed to test this obvious possibility. It's shameful for a scientist to let his judgment be clouded in this way.

After you brought this embarrassing oversight to my attention, we conducted an impromptu experiment. We secured both his digital and his film camera to a tripod so that any shakiness on Bigfoot's part would not cause the cameras to move.

The result: All of the photographs taken while the cameras were secured to a tripod were blurry.

There is no such thing as a failed experiment. Now that we know the blurry photos are not caused by Bigfoot's inability to hold the camera still, we can proceed with the next planned experiment.